


you know my secrets (and i know yours too)

by tangentiallly



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Don’t copy to another site, Frenemies, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 05:12:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17380238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangentiallly/pseuds/tangentiallly
Summary: "I think it's a crime that a cab like this is parked when it could be roaming the streets, wouldn't you agree?""No. What is a crime is your lack of knowledge on cars that caused us to lose the trivia game night. Well, that and your inability to shut up even when you don't know the right answer."





	you know my secrets (and i know yours too)

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: I don't own ASOUE
> 
> please don't copy this story to another site

She arrived at Hotel Denouement earlier than when she was supposed to meet Dewey. The mission was a failure, and she had been forced to retreat early.

After parking the cab in the hotel’s parking lot, she briefly wondered if she should just go inside the hotel and meet Dewey now. He would want to know how the mission went. She thought, tiredly, that she really, really should.

 _Sounded like a sensible thing to do_ , the logical part of the brain said. The part of the brain that sent signals to her limbs likely didn't say anything, because she remained on her seat, not moving an inch.

So that's where she stands, she sighed as she thought. For a moment, she imagine Lemony pointing out snidely, "no, that's where you  _sit_."

She wanted to tell him to shut up.

Lemony wasn't here, and she had no one to tell "shut up" to. The silence in the cab felt heavy, surrounding her and isolating her from the outside world.

A fortress. A prison. The last safe place. Perhaps everyone should just hide in their taxi until the world was safe again.  _Clever strategy, Snicket._

From the corner of her eye, she saw someone approaching the cab, which interrupted her train of thoughts. Well, if a train could be scattered around and all over the place.

He was raising an eyebrow at her as he walked, and wore a slightly mocking smile. She blinked, feeling the wetness of her eyes and suddenly realized that she had been close to tears. Furiously, she blinked a couple more times to make sure the tears go away, because she would never hear the end of it if he saw her like this.

Annoyance pushed over her previous melancholy and invaded into the center stage of her emotions as he got closer. She'd recognized him from faraway, and as he walked nearer, she knew she wasn't mistaken.

Ernest Denouement opened the door and stepped into the passenger seat uninvited.  _A pity he didn't bump his head while getting in_. She planned to add this onto the long list of evidence for her shortest triplet theory.

Also, maybe she should start locking the doors even when she's in the cab.

"I think it's a crime that a cab like this is parked when it could be roaming the streets, wouldn't you agree?" he drawled, leaning back to make himself comfortable.

"No. What _is_  a crime is your lack of knowledge on cars that caused us to lose the trivia game night," she responded immediately, then added a second later, "well, that and your inability to shut up even when you don't know the right answer."

"Which wouldn’t be a problem if you'd been faster to speak, would it?" he countered. "Anyway, back to the topic -- lucky for your cab, I have an errand to run at Mulctuary Money Management, and you can drive me there."

"Or better yet, you can walk there yourself taking the tunnels, and trip over various times along the way." she suggested.

"... that was  _Frank_ ," he glared at her. It had been him and he knew she knew that, but some lies had to be iterated every time.

"Tell that story to the people who would buy it," she said, just like she had every time.

It was almost a tradition between them.

He opened the glove compartment, and started ruffling through her stack of CDs, then sighed dramatically, "it's tragic how your musical tastes hasn't improved, I could see you tucked all my gifts for you at the bottom and never listen to them."

"Yeah, if I listen to those, I'm afraid I might crash into something," she rolled her eyes, scoffing.

"Well, if you crash into anything, that'll be because you like crashing into things."

She raised an eyebrow, looking slightly amused.  "Is that a compliment?"

"No, it's a fact, Roadside Hazard," he scoffed. "Now, will you drive me or not?"

"No. Just get a concierge to run the errand for you."

"We’re really understaffed lately. Speaking of which, you could recruit some more people for us. Heard recruiting is your talent.  Recruiter Snickets, they called you."

She sniffed indignantly. "Nobody calls us that."

"They will, once I start the trend and it becomes the next innest phrase." He shrugged. "Well, guess I’ll have to add some more work to the first concierge I run into when I head back. If they feel overworked, it’ll be your fault." He sighed, and opened the door quickly, leaving before she could say another word.

She rolled her eyes at his antics, then realized he’d left something behind. A piece of paper wrapped around a lipstick.

"

_K,_

_knew you’d be too proud to cry in front of me, and I was right : )_

_btw, found this lipstick last week in one of the rooms, thought the sporty colors suit you so i kept it for you. better apply some on for D and remember to smile, he’s got enough to worry about. no need to thank me for it._

_E_

"

She glared at the smiley face intensely, as if hoping she could burn a hole through it. Then she turned her attention to the lipstick suspiciously, and slowly turned the lid before it opened. It was silvery bright.

 _Pure evil_ , she thought menacingly.

**Author's Note:**

> [come say hi on tumblr](https://beatricebidelaire.tumblr.com)


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